In the course of a relationship, no doubt there is resentment, disgust, and anger. It seems to be something that can not be wiped away in a relationship.
"Arguing can be a sign of your relationship strong and passionate as well as a sign that you are comfortable enough to express their feelings without fear of losing," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of "Make Up, Do not Break Up".
Here are 4 ways that can be done for those who often quarreled with her partner.
1. Use the ear, not the mouth
If you are complaining about the same thing on your spouse, learn to stop. "Research shows that couples who are unhappy are those who try to continue to complain about the same thing but was desperate. It is not productive. They chose only to speak, not a dialogue," said Benjamin Karney, experts of the Relationship Institute, University of California.
2. Do not be too affected by the words
In an emotional state, often greeting sounded so sharp. Rant is ejected create hurt feelings and problems will not be resolved properly. In a study conducted at University of Chicago, our brains have a working system that is highly responsive to the words or unpleasant news.
Easy analogy, humans have a survival instinct. Age man lived in caves, their lives depend on how they survive and get out of danger. The human brain has a protection system that makes the mind to avoid a bad thing. That is the reason why you have to reduce the negative words. It could be, you will increasingly want to split up if given the continued hurtful words.
In a relationship, there are problems to be solved. Not to prove who is right or wrong. Replace the words "Basic slacker!" with "I'm tired because I have always makes plans in this connection, I hope that thou wilt who make plans."
3. Stop to want to win in every conflict
"People often get hung up on who is right and it makes sure to find a solution. The problem will be quickly completed when the relationship is not no party that said, 'Look, I was right!'" Karney said.
4. Remembering always that you were lovers
If the contention expressed positive emotions, then you will be more quality relationships in the future.
"If couples can communicate close, loving (as with clasped hands), it will reduce the negative emotions and rant. This positive interaction makes you seem to love each other each other, and also demonstrate a commitment to establish a good relationship despite in a precarious state, "Karney said.
"Arguing can be a sign of your relationship strong and passionate as well as a sign that you are comfortable enough to express their feelings without fear of losing," says Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of "Make Up, Do not Break Up".
Here are 4 ways that can be done for those who often quarreled with her partner.
1. Use the ear, not the mouth
If you are complaining about the same thing on your spouse, learn to stop. "Research shows that couples who are unhappy are those who try to continue to complain about the same thing but was desperate. It is not productive. They chose only to speak, not a dialogue," said Benjamin Karney, experts of the Relationship Institute, University of California.
2. Do not be too affected by the words
In an emotional state, often greeting sounded so sharp. Rant is ejected create hurt feelings and problems will not be resolved properly. In a study conducted at University of Chicago, our brains have a working system that is highly responsive to the words or unpleasant news.
Easy analogy, humans have a survival instinct. Age man lived in caves, their lives depend on how they survive and get out of danger. The human brain has a protection system that makes the mind to avoid a bad thing. That is the reason why you have to reduce the negative words. It could be, you will increasingly want to split up if given the continued hurtful words.
In a relationship, there are problems to be solved. Not to prove who is right or wrong. Replace the words "Basic slacker!" with "I'm tired because I have always makes plans in this connection, I hope that thou wilt who make plans."
3. Stop to want to win in every conflict
"People often get hung up on who is right and it makes sure to find a solution. The problem will be quickly completed when the relationship is not no party that said, 'Look, I was right!'" Karney said.
4. Remembering always that you were lovers
If the contention expressed positive emotions, then you will be more quality relationships in the future.
"If couples can communicate close, loving (as with clasped hands), it will reduce the negative emotions and rant. This positive interaction makes you seem to love each other each other, and also demonstrate a commitment to establish a good relationship despite in a precarious state, "Karney said.
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